I don’t know what my deal is lately, but I’ve still been writing with invisible ink. I’ve written posts, spent hours, even several days on them and then just deleted them.
So, today I’m just going to start rambling. Perhaps a bunch of random thoughts can find their way to the publish button?
This week I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. Some of them quite frivolous, while others quite deep. I’ve struggled with a cake and I’ve struggled with the idea of forgiveness, or more to the point, unforgiveness. I’ve thought about what makes a boxed cake mix taste better than a homemade and I’ve thought about what makes letting go better than holding on.
As far as cakes go, I’ve found that without a doubt, a box cake mix (specifically and ONLY Duncan Hines) produces a far superior finished product than does a homemade version. This, of course flies in the face of all I believe in. In my opinion, homemade is always better. Almost always, that is. No matter how moist the homemade cake promises to be, no matter how different the recipe from other’s I’ve tried, it never, ever meets my expectations like a Duncan Hines cake does.
This doesn’t of course mean I’m giving up on my quest to find the perfect homemade cake. I want to find one that can beat the box mix, I’m just not sure that this quest will produce any positive results.
As far as forgiveness goes, I’ve found that without a doubt letting things go (specifically giving it over to God) produces a far better end result than does holding on to things. This, of course falls directly in line with all I believe. In my opinion, giving it to God is always better. Always. No matter how angry I might be, no matter how justified my anger, it’s never, ever worth holding onto.
This doesn’t of course mean that I’m giving up my position or common sense. I want to find grace to beat the bitterness. I’m sure that this quest will produce positive results.
Finding a good recipe isn’t easy, and neither is finding the grace to forgive. The bible says “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
God’s grace is amazing. He forgives us over and over for all the dumb things we do. And, we are instructed to forgive as our father has forgiven us.
But do we?
I think more often that not, we hold on to things. We let it fester. We don’t show grace. Sometimes we even create animosity where there is none. We pass judgement when we don’t know enough to rightly do so. We put words in people’s mouths and thoughts in their heads. We create whole personas for people that we barely know. We decide they don’t like us, or they have some ulterior motives and we base these decisions on our own emotional responses.
We lack grace. We expect God to forgive us over and over again, but when it comes to letting our brother off the hook for some minor offense, we want to keep it. Hold on to it.
And maybe it’s not a minor offense. Maybe it’s a big deal. Maybe it’s a life altering, major thing.
Forgiveness still applies.
It’s so not easy. I’ve struggled with some major anger toward people who hurt me, or hurt people I love and I honestly wanted to hold on to it for a while. I didn’t want to give it up.
And, even when I knew I needed to, and tried to let it go, it was still a battle.
The thing about forgiveness is, it doesn’t mean you have to forget the wrong that has been done to you. Which, from a human standpoint is good, considering aside from amnesia or other physical ailment, it’s going to be impossible to forget. Forgiveness doesn’t equal trust. I’ve forgiven a lot of people in my day, but I now trust them as far as I can throw them. And, I think that’s okay. I think that’s smart. I can get over a cake not coming out as the recipe promised, but I’m certainly not going to attempt that recipe again. It wouldn’t make sense. I can try other variations of the recipe, attempt to modify it, but I would never repeat it.
I thank God that the forgiveness I need is found in him. We need to learn to forgive others, as he forgives us.
On a side note, It constantly amazes me how different people are. While I tend to be too nice, I wonder if others aren’t nice enough. Or maybe I’m just a mush mush. I’ve just really observed some differences in people and it got me to thinking deep thoughts. 
While watching Chopped the other night, one of the contestants forgot to put an ingredient on the plate. She used all ingredients, but simply forgot to add one to the plate. In those cases the judges ask the other contestants if they will allow them to taste the missing ingredient. It has to be unanimous. I watched two out of three contestants agree to allow it, the third one said no. Technically, everything has to be plated by the time specified, but the other competitors could allow an exception if they so desire. What makes two say yes and one say no? I would have said yes, but maybe I’m too nice? Or was the other guy not nice enough?
Yesterday, I observed a cashier get annoyed at a customer because he wanted an item for the price that was listed on it. The cashier got all huffy and said the price was wrong, but everyone could see it was clearly labeled with that price. She walked around trying to find the proper price on another item, but couldn’t. She then mumbled that someone had put the wrong price on it, but that she would give it to him for the price listed. She sounded so annoyed, and acted like she was giving him some special sacrifice by allowing him to have it for the price listed. She treated him like he was a troublemaker and she played the part of the taker of the high road.
I didn’t get it. Why was she so indignant? He seemed pleasant enough.
By the way, it was a small bag of beef jerky. Cost? $1.24 (for him anyway)
The other day I took Ollie to the groomers. When I went to pick him up (he looked spiffy, by the way) The girl told me his total and I proceeded to hand her my debit card. She then told me they don’t take cards of any kind, just cash or check. I felt bad, I didn’t know and apologized profusely! She told me not to worry about it, she should have told me and that I could put a check in the mail at my convenience. I was blown away by that! This was only our second visit to this establishment. They barely knew me. They didn’t even have our address. But they trusted me to pay the money due. I was amazed.
Of course, I immediately went home and wrote the check and it was in the mail the next day.
People amaze me. Both in a good way, and bad.
Speaking of Ollie, it’s time to take him out. Talk about friendly…walking him is ridiculous! He has to say hi to everything and everyone!
Let’s see if I can hit the publish button when I get back!
Hannah Sunderland felt content in her embrace of the Quaker faith… until her twin brother joined the Colonial cause and ended up in jail. She longs to bring some measure of comfort to him in the squalid prison, but her faith forbids it. The Friends believe that they are not to take sides, not to take up arms. She is not allowed to visit him, even if she were able to secure a pass.
And as he mentioned, I have from the very beginning of time, referred to him as The Honorable Reverend Pastor Sir. In part, because he preferred not to be called by a title, just Dave as he likes to say. But, the other reason I call him that is because it’s entirely true. I have the utmost respect for him and he has always lived up to the title I bestowed upon him. (Though, I distinctly remember threatening to remove portions of his title before, in jest!) For short, I call him The Rev. It fits. And, if you’ve read his blog, or have ever had the privilege of hearing him share the word of God, you may just begin to understand why he is so titled. He is currently writing his first book, and I encourage you to head over to his blog and 
